Good evening spring chickettes – are you hatching and matching? Or needing to despatch in order to hatch??
I’m a bit reflective this evening.
Mind you, that’s the first time I’ve even had time to reflect on anything except the state of my…’back bits’ … who’ve been leading me a very unmerry dance (not one you’d see on Strickters) for near two weeks.
This is down to the enormous cocktail of drugs now needed to keep all my bits and pieces functioning. So I need X in order to keep Y at bay; then they don’t like eachother too much so I need Z to stop them from arguing. But neither X or Y interact properly with A, B or C; mixologist I am not, but something, at some point, has to give.
Turns out, it was my bowels – yeuuuccch! Mind you, I do like a good Dirty Martini!
All of that 400 thread count white bed linen – now looking like that classic F&B colour, Shaded Shite, in 478 fell swoops. I’ve got more black grapes hanging out my backside than the entire Chateau Neuf du Pape vineyard over in that France.
I can’t go up to Wonderdrug again for the ‘an-u-thol’; they’ve put a restraining order on me and reported me to BA – Bottoms Anonymous – apparently 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Anyway, back to the thingy.
Two of my friends have recently died of this stupid disease. They both lived in our road. One was in his 80s; the other, only just turned 51. Their cancers were such that there was absolutely NOTHING, on God’s earth, they could have done about them. There’s this stupid phrase about ‘he/she lost their battle with cancer’.
This is total bollocks.
There’s a point at which, however brave your spirit and your intent, the shitter will get you. Not in every case, of course! NOT all cancers are the same, and I keep making this clear to people – a cancer diagnosis DOES NOT MEAN it’s time to dust off the old vinyls and get The Doors out (this is the end.”?….) IF, and only if, you’re in a situation where the little shit has so taken over your body, it has totally disarmed you, and you have no weapons, no defences -it will win. This is becoming more rare, thanks to many things.
My friends and neighbours, recently passed, had no weapons or defences. It wasn’t their fault. They’d both been diagnosed, one a lot sooner than the other; there was nothing on this planet they ‘did’ to get the bloody thing (unlike some!) and they tried everything and anything to keep it at bay. A battle implies an interaction between roughly equal parties. In these extreme examples, there was no equality whatsoever.
As a boring old bag, I keep saying to people: if there’s anything in your day to day health which is not normal for you, notice it. Write it down. I’ve got a friend who has noticed that her husband has started nodding off on the sofa of an evening. Personally I think he’s pissed off with her constant re-runs of Bargain Hunt. But just tiny things; notice it, log it, carry on. If the list is getting bigger and more diverse, act.
Ladies and the other lot – check your breasticles and your testicles (🤢🤮🤮)
Smokers and ex-smokers – if you’ve fagged it for 40 years- ummmmm… I may have news for you. If every cigarette had the words: ‘this is the one which will give you lung cancer’ – (and that is true, actually) – would you smoke it? I’m fed up with people saying to me, when they know full well I’ve got incurable lung cancer: “but I only smoke 5 fags a day, so I’ll be fine!” You probably won’t be, in fact ♥️
Anyway – I said I was reflective, possibly too much so. All I know is that I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’m still here to tell a tale or two. What more could you want?
This is for the gentlemen we recently lost – from us, with heart, love, and strength – and for who they didn’t ever mean or want to leave behind.
Chickens, we pray 🙏 xxxx
Sent from my iPad
Who's going to get the chicken? 